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"And though history has made us self-conscious in order to enhance our survival prospects, we still have deep impulses to erase the skull lines in our head and become immersed directly in the river. I’ve come to think that flourishing consists of putting yourself in situations in which you lose self-consciousness and become fused with other people, experiences, or tasks. It happens sometimes when you are lost in a hard challenge, or when an artist or a craftsman becomes one with the brush or the tool. It happens sometimes while you’re playing sports, or listening to music or lost in a story, or to some people when they feel enveloped by God’s love. And it happens most when we connect with other people. I’ve come to think that happiness isn’t really produced by conscious accomplishments. Happiness is a measure of how thickly the unconscious parts of our minds are intertwined with other people and with activities. Happiness is determined by how much information and affection flows through us covertly every day and year."
Social Animal by David Brooks for the New Yorker
This article blew my mind, broke my heart, and made my day. (via datebynumbers)
It sucks, but you have to lie in it.
The saga continues as each of the main characters finds themselves face to face with the consequences of the choices they’ve made regarding their families and relationships. Everyone gets an opportunity in life to see how their actions affect those they love most, but few have the self awareness necessary to recognize the role they may have played when things truly hit the fan. The smart ones learn a lesson and gain some level of personal growth, but sometimes we all find it difficult to avoid the same pitfalls, even when we’ve already been around the same track once. Okay, maybe twice.
Be careful what you wish for!
As The Perfect Man series continues, Jerome’s chick on the side, Jaleesa Carlyle, basks in the success of her plan to get rid of Jerome’s long time girlfriend and make him her husband. The only problem is he is not anywhere near the knight in shining armor she fantasized about. Jaleesa’s character is a reflection of the misguided belief that the perfect marriage validates a woman, a trap many of us have fallen into.
Meanwhile, Lorraine struggles to rebuild her life and career in a new city, harboring a secret Jerome knows nothing about. Though she tries to close her heart to love after the drama she left behind in Chicago, a life without love is an empty one and she unwittingly finds herself attracted to another man, Jackson Williams. However, she may find that her preoccupation with old heartache may send her plunging headlong into one more.
How far would you go to discover the truth about your lover?
In the first novel of the series, readers are introduced to Lorraine Alexander and Jerome Taylor, a Chicago couple on the verge of engagement. It was important to present two black professionals who have commit to each other and believe they are ready to take the next step in their relationship. Yet, like many women, when confronted with Jerome’s infidelity, by the other woman, Lorraine is unwilling to accept it until she hears it straight from the horse’s mouth. She then goes to extreme lengths, only to be faced with the quandary of deciding which is better: the bliss of ignorance or the freedom of truth?